Une Année Plus Tard

Everything is coming full circle. Like all the time. Our online AIFS group is in a constant state of reliving the excitement that was our lives a year ago last week, or yesterday, or today.

In my first week of History of Film we watched Frederico Fellini's 8 1/2, which served as the poster image for the Cannes Film Festival poster last year. When we were there.

It was Grace, my roommate's birthday, which we'd all celebrated with dinner, barely knowing each other, falling asleep at an opera, and going out that weekend in a hodge-podge of shenanigans.

Lady Gaga sang the Sound of Music at the Oscars for the 50th anniversary of the film. Less than a year ago I was singing along to that song on a bus in Salzburg, and waltzing around the infamous fountain where that movie was filmed.

It's everywhere. And sometimes it sucks! It makes me nostalgic. It makes me sad that I feel the attachment to the images I replay in my head slipping. Did it even happen? But when I sit and really focus. When I sit and remember the places and the people. It's all still there. And although sometimes I wish I could go back, just for a day, an afternoon on the beach, and specific moment with a friend at the college or on a plain or a train or in a hostel.

But here's to life. A life that's continued to be well-lived despite getting back to a reality of school and work. Here's to more adventures in the future. Here's to being so overwhelmingly thankful that it did happen.

Une Année Plus Tard... I felt a need to put a final stamp on the story. And the best way to do that, if you'll indulge me, is to follow this link here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fNRW17cxI4

How to Pack a Suitcase

So, this one is being written directly after posting the last one. The title may be a bit misleading but I was having a conversation recently about packing and how you always want to leave a little room in your suitcase so you can bring stuff home with you. And when I think about that I think it’s the perfect analogy for any time you go abroad, and maybe even just a good analogy for new experiences in life in general.

Because when I went abroad I brought things I knew I’d throw away: shampoo, beauty products, etc. I went in knowing I could probably ditch those for cooler things when I came back. But there were also things I brought I hadn’t necessarily intended on getting rid of. One prime example was my boots. I bought them at Target for $30 maybe two years ago now. They fell apart about halfway through the semester. I held onto them as long as I could, reluctant to spend money on new ones. But eventually I couldn’t avoid it. I threw them away and came back with some snazzy new ones that got me through the rest of my trip.

So I think in a lot of ways, that transitions well into my last few lists I made those last few days abroad that I do want to share.

There’s really no way to summarize these 5 months. Even if you clicked on every link on this blog and read every article it wouldn’t do it justice. I did write a list of all of the memories that came into my head which ended up being about 5 pages and which I won’t be typing here. But I got to do some incredible things. Traveling to France, Monaco, Spain, Germany, Austria, The Czech Republic, and Ireland. 17 flights. There were so many new foods and new experiences that I got to pack into my suitcase. Things that I may honestly never be able to fully share with anyone, but that I will always get to have. Running to a magic fountain in Barcelona. Eating kebabs. Pub Crawls. Castles. The beach in Cannes. Carnival in Nice. The Suquet. Unforgettable 3 hour long dinners. Trains. Cathedrals. Amazing people. Lock bridges. The French language, la plus belle langue du monde <3. Metros. Stromae. More freedom than I might ever have again in my life as well as some of the purest and happiest moments I’ve had in my 20 years here on earth.

So, this may or may not be one of my last posts. Because it may be the only and best way to make an attempt to summarize. These are short little lists, but they’re the big things.

List #1: Things I’m Taking with Me (or already brought since I’m home)

·         New sense of confidence

·         L’esprit critique

·         Not just accepting everything

·         4 hour meals (or at least 2)

·         Taste for new foods

·         Greater appreciation for the little things

·         Redefined faith

·         Stronger convictions

·         Increased curiosity and eagerness for adventure

·         The French language/culture: philosophy, logic, family, pride, hedonism

·         Irish heritage?: welcoming ,positivity, kindness

·         A newer slightly less naïve me

·         Joy, thankfulness/gratitude, humbleness, understanding, peace

·         Nutella and europants

May not be perfect, but a good reminder. And the next one is even shorter but I think even more significant.

List #2: Things I’m Leaving Behind

·         Rushing through life

·         Judgment of others (going to try at least)

·         A younger more naïve me

·         Ignorance

·         Not accepting myself or my beliefs

·         Shame/guilt

·         Little pieces of my heart; chapters of my life

Moving Forward

After a more emotional day yesterday and with everything going on these days I decided since I had today off work that my number one priority would be taking some time to just sit and write or type or whatever to re-center and re-organize myself a bit. The thing is that these days I have so many thoughts constantly going in and out of my head despite that it seems like there’s not a lot going on my life these days.

Also on a bit more random note, I woke up to this article which made me feel a bit better because it talks about basically everything that was going on with me yesterday. Plus I chatted with AIFS friends on Facebook like my friend Jake. AND for the first time I got to FaceTime with Ms. London Lundstrum, one of my favorite people I met studying abroad, for about an hour!

http://thoughtcatalog.com/kellie-donnelly/2014/07/the-hardest-part-about-traveling-no-one-talks-about/

So today I decided to head to one of my favorite coffee shops, and spend some time with myself and with God in some reflecting time and some prayer for some guidance I guess. Which I think I’ve done a lot recently but the problem is I think I’ve done a lot of talking and not a lot of sitting and just listening. At the moment, I’m feeling a lot better about things—already feeling like just journaling out some of my thoughts is giving a sense of new direction. Which has led me to decide to write a few blog posts. 

This first one is going to be dedicated to one of the lists I wrote months ago during my last few days abroad. I posted one a while back, but this one was about the kind of individual and young woman I want to become. I’m not quite there and I’m not sure I’ll ever fully get there; but it’s what I want to strive for. And one of these in particular that I just re-read was: being someone that’s inspired as well as inspiring. So I’m not sure how inspiring I can be right now. But I think the first step is that word “inspired.” Which is a bit funny to me because I rarely think of myself as the “artsy” type; but then I get kind of constantly reminded that I am an artist. And I'm going to claim that. And I think anyone who’s read this blog or watched some of my videos or even been around me to see what an emotionally driven person (in addition to intellectually driven) I can be would agree.

So, on that note, I realized that blogging and working on my video montage and all that stuff is maybe the best thing I can be doing for myself right now. Because lately I’ve felt so uninspired when normally I feel inspired by SO many things. Even doing this right now I’m typing pretty fast and I’m actually feeling it a bit already.

Without too much  further introduction, my list of personal qualities that make up the person I’d like to be, whether they are completely new or they’re expansions on traits I feel like I’ve always had, moving forward thanks to my study abroad experience:

1.       Humble

2.       Strong

3.       Confident

4.       Someone who fully knows how beautiful she is, but doesn’t need to talk about it. People can tell she knows it, but she doesn’t need to boast about it.

5.       Someone who puts herself out there. Who introduces herself to others. Who takes initiative.

6.       Someone who creates deep relationships with others.

7.       Someone who cares about others. Who’s thoughtful. Who’d do just about anything if it meant helping someone out.

8.       Someone who does random acts of kindness.

9.       A young woman who’s comfortable and proud of her sexuality (rather than ashamed of it).

10.   Someone who doesn’t beat herself up, or others for that matter.

11.   A young woman who can say no. Who stands up for herself when enough is enough.

12.   An intellectual. Someone who’s informed about the world. Who can defend her opinions with relevant examples. Someone who has read and studied religions and texts.

13.   Someone strong in their faith.

14.   Someone who doesn’t shove her opinion in other people’s faces, but who will respond confidently to others’ questions if they arise or when conversations call for it. Someone who’s not afraid to give her opinion when she feels the need to.

15.   Someone who does her. (AIFS people will understand this reference pretty well). Who dresses how she wants. Wears makeup or doesn’t. Makes plans or stays at home.

16.   Someone who dates. Not actively seeking a relationship but keeping an eye out and not being afraid to try or give things a shot.

17.   Someone who volunteers.

18.   Someone who takes/makes time to enjoy the little things.

19.   Someone who travels.

20.   Someone who sees the best in people. Who’s not afraid of what she doesn’t know.

21.   Someone who trusts.

22.   Someone who puts all of herself into what she does.

23.   Someone inspired as well as inspiring.

24.   Someone who loves unconditionally. Who lets people be and loves them anyway (or at least doesn’t judge them).

25.   Un peu parisien en fait, ou du moins, française.

It's Hitting Me

So I’m not feeling the need to write a ton, but I’m in a place right now where a lot has come up the past few days around study abroad—well it still comes up for me all the time. It’s been a rough week regarding some of it though. I feel myself continuing to get back into the routine of home. I’ve had a lot of fun in the last few weeks hanging out with everyone, feeling very loved and welcomed home.

And this blog isn’t meant to be a downer even if the last few posts seem that way. However, I also feel it’s necessary to keep up on the whole experience.

Anyways. So just to check in. For the most part I’m doing fine. But I’m having more moments. The excitement of getting home is quickly winding down now.

I cried over kebabs last week. It sounds like the stupidest thing and I wouldn’t discount other potential factors for why this happened. But my mom offered to get kebabs for dinner, to which I asked, “Kebabs like, Europe's kebabs?” and she responded yes which led to me literally feeling like I got hit by a wall of emotion that made me cry. And actually because of the place I’m in right now, typing this is making me cry thinking about it. Obviously, it’s not so much the kebabs I miss. But it just hit me. How much I miss it. How far away it is. How even us going out to dinner and getting something similar was just not at all the same.

Friday I woke up early for an opening shift at work. I got up and threw myself together. Then I teared up and eventually cried a bit in the car on the way to work trying not to think about how much I wish for one morning I could wake up again in Cannes. In room 317 of the International College with my roommates Sky and Grace in our yellow room with twin sized beds and yellow comforters. Our tiny closets. Their desks directly centered and facing each other between our two windows which were always left open to our top notch view of the courtyard filled with palm trees and the sea on the horizon. How I’d roll out of bed and go to breakfast with everyone. Then go to class (oh man, here it comes) with Giselle. With Hans and Alex and Elsa and Patrick and Jeannie. And we’d talk in French for hours and enjoy each other’s company and learn from each other. 

And there I was months later in my car on the freeway headed to Marie Callender’s for work.

And then today. Today I didn’t wake up feeling it necessarily. But I got in my car and “I Will Wait” was playing on the radio. It made me want to just listen to more Mumford and Sons who I listen to all the time, but who I also listened to a ton on my trip and who’s songs in so many ways take me right back to exactly how I felt abroad. Those songs in a lot of ways are like anthems to me of my trip. But soon after I put on more of their songs, I felt myself choke up while singing along, and started crying. For the third time in about a week’s period. And although I was headed to work once again and didn’t want to show up a wreck, I tried to suck it up and it still slipped out. 

This is me being really just honest and open I guess—because I usually hate admitting any kind of weakness, I tend to not want people to see me that way. But I just miss it. I miss the people. And mostly, I miss how I felt there. Because there I felt so alive and at home these days I just don’t really. I’m here. I’m working and I’m spending time with people and I’m enjoying little things here and there but it’s just not the same.

And then tonight what motivated me to write this was just that I’d written just a few letters to some of my study abroad friends. Haven’t finished em all yet but did a few. So I decided to write the addresses I’d gotten on the envelopes and seal em up so when I buy stamps tomorrow I can finally send them about 2 months later than intended. I re-read them and sealed them all up. And right after doing so it literally felt like I’d just sealed up little pieces of my heart to send off. Maybe it’s just that it feels so final—like a final stamp to put on these experiences in these friendships. It is and it isn’t. But it just makes me miss them more and makes me want to go back for a night and even just give them all a hug, hear them talk and laugh for a few minutes.

So. I’m being super emotional for anyone who can’t tell. And it’s not all the time I feel like I’m struggling but it is cropping up more and more often and at really random and/or unexpected times.

And there it is. These days are mostly just working and making plans and keeping busy as much as I can. It's getting back into my church. Getting excited for school to start in a little over a month. Starting to plan some trips hopefully in the next year or so, nowhere too crazy though since I'm broke at the moment. 

And it's weird because I was totally prepared for this to happen. I don't know how many times study abroad advisors warned us about reverse culture shock. They warned us that it's easy to be depressed and what not, so I'm sure that's just exactly what it is. But it's definitely there and it's hitting me. However, as much as I knew within 1-2 weeks of being there how hard coming home would be (take a look at the "Culture Shock" post for proof that), I also knew that soon in that any sort of depression or reverse culture shock would be worth the experience ten times over.

Transitioning

Despite that I know not as many people are reading at this point, now that my adventures abroad are over, I figured I should post occasionally when stuff comes up—about adjusting to life at home and what not.

So here I am. The last time I wrote I had only been home for five days. And now I can say it’s been a few weeks. I feel pretty used to being home at this point. I’ve been keeping myself busy hanging out with friends and family. I probably think of study abroad every day. And it was very hard at first not to constantly be thinking about it and the fact that I wasn’t still in France or traveling somewhere. It was basically all I wanted to talk about. More than that, it’s really all I had to talk about. But after a few weeks and starting to get back into a routine (sort of at least) I can talk to people about work or plans or whatever and it’s not always about my trip.

I really just… don’t know how to put into words how I’m feeling these days. It’s a bit all over the place. It’s exactly what I imagined in that it’s a bit confusing to try to fit this new girl I feel like back into old environments and habits and routines. It’s like taking a piece out of a puzzle, turning it sideways, and then trying to fit it back in or something. Things constantly remind me of stories or memories. But what makes me a bit sad sometimes is that those stories feel so distant. Literally I guess. But it just really doesn’t seem like it was real at times. Which is just… weird. There’s really no other way I can say it.

I’ve occasionally chatted with some of my AIFS friends. But not seeing them or really knowing much of what’s going on in their day to day lives makes them kind of fade away—these people that were a huge part of my daily life for what was a pretty solid amount of time.

It’s like I can so clearly picture some of the images of the people I was with and the places I went. But they just seem like images in my head. I rarely feel a strong sentimental attachment to them like I guess I thought I would. Which is what’s hard to process.

I’ve had my moments though. A friend, Jake, who I was pretty close to in Cannes but with whom I wasn’t sure how much I’d stay in contact, messaged me on Facebook just to chat and see how I was doing and ask how my last few weeks of traveling had been. It made my day. And then he was saying how much he just wished we were all back in Cannes that night—it was a weekend night so we would’ve all been borrowing each others’ clothes to walk into town for the night. It just feels sometimes like we should all be getting ready to head to Morrison’s and see Michel and who knows what other friends would be there. And those people are still there and we’re not. And it just made me sad. It was comforting to know I’m not the only one thinking things like that.

And then even just the other night I went to a friend’s house to Jacuzzi after work and we were talking and asking questions when she asked, “If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?” And that was a moment I felt my heart almost burst (in a happy and sad way) thinking, honestly, I’d be back in Cannes. Everyone would be there. My roommates, my friends. We’d all be getting ready to go out. We’d walk into town and dance our butts off at our favorite bar, which was nothing really like a club, but we’d dance anyways. And we’ll never get to do that again.

So there’s all that.

But on a better note. I am adjusting. I’ve started back at my old job—literally nothing has changed there besides two new drinks added onto the menu. Waitressing has come back really fast. I’ve volunteered at church the last few weeks; last week I worked the cameras and the tech team said I haven’t lost my touch at all. After a few weeks of zero structure in my schedule I was ready to start adding some back into my life. And I’ve realized just how much I need to surround myself with stuff that’s just… new. That’s what I need. It’s little things like new music for when I’m driving in my same old car, or a new background from my Barcelona trip as my screensaver on my phone that make me feel good. Make me feel like I am at least a slightly different person these days. And also make me feel like I’m given the opportunity to get a bit of a fresh start here at home but with a support system that’s been in place much longer.

So life is moving on. And I’m in a place now, and having spurts of these moments where I do realize and get excited for the future. For new things that are going to be taking place in my life in the next few months, years, etc. (well hopefully at least).

For now I’ve got a few more things to try to incorporate into my schedule like starting to work out and attempting to eat healthier though it’s much harder at home. That’s one thing—on a bit of a side note—I just feel kind of lazy. I had a busy day at work today where I felt the gears turning in my brain for what feels like the first time in a long time. And I think it’s simply from being really stimulated by something; whereas waking up these days in my old bed and going through old motions after 5 months of life on hyper speed tends to be kind of the opposite. And I have realized that already so I know that continuing to do new things and surround myself with new activities will get me to where I want to be.

And I’ve also had some nice opportunities already to bring some of the French activities I learned to love here! Like an almost 2 hour dinner with fresh bread and cheese I had with my family which has been one of the highlights of my few weeks home!

I know I’m just rambling at this point. But another thing that’s different is it was so easy while I was abroad to wake up and just feel so grateful all the time. So that’s another struggle is that I know there’s a ton of beauty all around me and I shouldn’t be complaining. But it’s just so much easier to see it when it’s new and foreign. So in that sense I just feel kind of… stuck. But I also fully trust in God to guide me to use my experience while I’m home somehow. And at the very least, as a really cool guy from my church recently told me, even if I can’t share the experiences I had with other people, I’ll always have them for myself. So that’s comforting.

Apologies for the scattered-ness of this post. But that’s pretty much exactly where I’m at! Transitioning. Finally coming to terms with the end. Starting to try to get excited for what is in front of me: a new beginning.

My current cover photo on Facebook--a photo I took in Ireland with some lyrics to a song I listened to
pretty frequently while traveling. "Reminder" by Mumford and Sons.
A song that brings me back when I listen to it.

Catching Up

Ok. So, it’s been a while since I’ve written anything. The last few weeks have been a bit crazy. The last time I blogged it was my second to last day in Europe. Now, it’s been five days that I’ve been home and I now find myself sitting in my very messy, overstuffed room in Los Alamitos.

I don’t even really know where to go with this post specifically—other than just catch everyone up on the last few weeks. I plan on writing at least a few more posts as I adjust to life back at home since that’s a big part of the study abroad experience as well.

So here goes. I got to spend my last night in Europe in Paris. It was very nice and a bit emotional. I got there in the late afternoon because the trains were striking. So, I walked around a bit. I got a nutella crêpe and an espresso in a café. Then, I headed over to Pont des Arts to put my lock on the lock bridge as I’d blogged about doing months ago! (I’ll probably do a separate post for this soon.) Then I treated myself to a nice last dinner before going back to my hostel and preparing for a 25 hour long day of travel to meet my mom and my sister in Costa Rica.

And yes. 25 hours straight. That included getting up and getting on a shuttle to Charles de Gaulle; chilling at the airport there; getting on a nine hour flight from Paris to Miami; stressing out having to go through luggage claims, customs, and security again in less than an hour so I could hug my mom and sister; having a 6 hour layover in Miami where it was the afternoon and it was around 1 AM in the time zone my body had been in (however, I sat on the floor of the terminal watching the world cup for a while so that was nice); then getting on a second two and a half hour flight to San José, Costa Rica; going through customs; getting a taxi; and arriving at the hotel where my mom and sister were. Yeah, it was a long day. I wasn’t too tired all things considered thanks to following probably some of the best travel advice I’ve gotten—being that rather than making yourself stay awake since it’ll be nighttime when you land or whatever, just sleep when you’re tired, eat when you’re hungry. You’ll have to adjust to the time change no matter what so just take care of yourself in the process.

Our week in Costa Rica was incredible! We stayed in a resort which was very nice. Multiple pools, really good food, access to the beach, zip lining, massages (which my shoulders really needed—that backpack I’d been carrying around shocked my family with how heavy it was), and lots of quality time with my mom and my sister! It was also incredibly hot and humid—something I’m definitely not used to. We all did pretty well with sunscreen and bug spray until about the last day where my mom and I got decently burnt.

Then, after a week of relaxing and getting to be with people I loved, it was time to start the journey home to the U.S. I was feeling really excited about getting to get home and see my dad at the airport and start seeing friends I hadn’t seen in a while. The flights seemed to take way longer that day. But it was nice having company for the first time in a while to travel with.

Being purely honest, however, and not trying to be a downer, pretty much from the moment the pilot announced our descent into L.A. until pulling up to my house—I fought tears and/or cried. Which I felt bad about doing with all of my family being so excited to see me and have me back. But the closer we got to actually landing the more real it was that my semester abroad was and is over. It was a bit overwhelming. I saw huge skyscraper buildings, the color brown everywhere, thousands of cars driving on multiple lane highways and freeways, advertisements all in English for American brands, traffic, smog… and I’m not trying to rip on LA but talk about a culture shock. If you’ve seen my pictures of Cannes where I’ve gotten used to flying into Nice over the Mediterranean Sea with pink and yellow houses that come into view in the little hills around the city—you can imagine, I’m sure, the stark difference. So that just really hit me all at once with it all coming into view.

And now I’m sitting here. It’s been a few days that I’ve had to be home. I’ve gotten to see some friends. I’ve eaten more cheeseburgers already than I think I did all semester abroad. I already had doctor and dentist appointments: fun fact, my teeth got healthier while I was gone. I did get to go line dancing at one of my favorite places on Wednesday night which was a blast. Yesterday night I got to see the new house my mom bought while I was gone and that she’s moving into next month.

I think the scary thing is that… things really do feel almost exactly the same. I kind of feel like I never left. Which I’m sure to family and friends seems outrageous. But truly, I’ve already shared lots of stories and told people about my trip and these things are so vivid in my head but they feel so far removed. It really does make me wonder at times if it all really did happen or if it was all some weird dream. And luckily I’ve got social media and friends from Cannes liking my photos. And I’ve got this blog. And I’ve got photos and videos. I know it happened. I think my biggest worry is just that I’ll go back to being exactly who I was before I left and that the person I got to be while I was gone will somehow just go away. And I know that’s not true. But it does leave me, and a lot of my AIFS friends as well, in this weird space of trying to incorporate a ton of new things about yourself into what really feels like an old way of life.

It may sound a bit dramatic. But I know the people that have traveled or have done something like study abroad can relate. And I know the people who’ve been consistently reading this blog, even if they can’t fully understand, can see what I mean when I say these sorts of things. So here we go, snapping back to reality a bit. Catching up.

Lessons I've Learned Here

It’s my second to last day here in Europe which is pretty hard to believe! I’ve been in Rouen for the last few days staying with my friend Léa’s family which has been awesome! During the days I got to explore Rouen a bit on my own and do some shopping and then come home to a home and have dinner with them. Last night was probably my favorite because it just felt like such a French dinner. I got back from town around 7:30 PM. We had an aperitif and talked while dinner was being cooked, then ate dinner which was delicious, then had cheese, then had dessert which was a homemade tarte, and then continued to sit and talk until about 11:30. All in French. So, that was pretty incredible.

Today I took my time getting up and starting to get stuff ready to go to Paris tomorrow 

afternoon/night, have my last day here, and then get on a flight Sunday morning! I went into town to buy my train ticket. The trains are on strike tomorrow so the hours are more limited which is a bit of a bummer—I won’t have as much time in Paris as I was originally thinking but I also don’t want to make myself get up super early.

Anyways I ended up sitting at a café for a bit to journal. I’ve started making all of  these little lists, most of which I’ll most likely end up posting after I’m actually home and can reflect on everything a bit more. I actually jotted down 4-5 pages of all of the memories that popped into my head—there’s a LOT that’s happened here. But rather than harp on all that, I thought for now it would be fun to post this little list, so here goes, in no particular order other than how they popped into my head. 

Some of the Lessons I Learned in My Time Abroad:

1.       Goofy things always happen on crowded busses (people falling, luggage sliding places, etc.)

2.       You really don’t need too many things

3.       Hoodies and b-ball shorts are SUPER American, as are peanut butter and re-usable water bottles

4.       You’d be surprised at how many things you can fit into a backpack

5.       Europe’s wifi is incredible; so easy to find

6.       So is it’s public transportation system (besides maybe SNCF)

7.       NOT planning where you or things in your life will end up is one of the best things you can do

8.       However, when it comes to booking a hostel or a hotel, look for location first

9.       How much the country/region we live in impact our identity—more so than I thought before leaving my own

10.   Being humble and being afraid are two different things

11.   There are some peoples’ personalities that just don’t connect with yours, and that’s ok. There are also people you will meet that just immediately understand you, and you them, and that’s pretty magical.

12.   The French “bisous” is just about the cutest thing

13.   Always double check plane and/or train departure times

14.   Don’t pack stationary for studying abroad

15.   Buy a plethora of stamps for postcards so you don’t have to constantly go buy them one by one from the post office

16.   Don’t be afraid to ask for help, or to ask a question again until it’s clear—this can save you a lot of time and grief

17.   Have a well thought out backup plan if you don’t have a cell phone

18.   Don’t constantly convert how much money you’re spending on a trip like this…

19.   …But at the same time… BUDGET

20.   Don’t be scared to be weird. I probably met some of the weirdest but simultaneously coolest, best people here (and let’s face it, most people are pretty weird)

21.   Sometimes it’s fun to wander and fun to go somewhere you know nothing about

22.   Tours can feel lame and touristy but not knowing what things are = also lame.

23.   Be alone sometimes

24.   Take care of yourself

25.   Take time to do nothing

26.   Sunscreen

27.   Try new foods

28.   Talking to a stranger can be way more fun than sitting and listening to your ipod

29.   Pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone is almost always scary but almost always worth it

30.   Try your hardest not to judge other people

31.   Try your hardest to truly love yourself

32.   Enjoy the little things

That’s all for now! I’m sure I’ll more to the list in the days and weeks and months and years… ok well, forever pretty much, to come. For now tonight we’re going out to dinner and seeing lights on the cathedral! Then, tomorrow, last day, ending in Paris. Then Sunday morning, it’s Au Revoir Europe and hello Costa Rica with my mom and sister who I cannot wait to see!

Where in the World is Amanda Marcus?

Alright! So it’s been about a week since Cannes came to a close. It’s gone by very fast already, however. I figured I should sit down and spend some time filling everyone in on what I’ve been up to these days. There’s a lot!

I was writing the last post from Corsica, which was incredible! We were staying in this little town called Algajora, which none of us could figure out how to pronounce. I actually kind of fell in love with it though! There wasn’t much to do besides enjoy the beach. We went to this one café to use their wifi at least like 3 times. So basically got to vacation for 4-5 days with two awesome girl friends, Cassie and Elsa. 

Algajora!

Not too bad, eh?

Got a pretty good tan going so that’s always nice. 

We did take a day and go see Ile Rousse. There we walked around and grocery shopped. Probably one of my favorite nights was us cooking a meal at home! We bought pasta and Elsa whipped up this really fancy great little meal with pasta, pesto, peppers, tomatoes, and mushrooms. Plus, of course (of Corse! Ha! That’s the French word for Corsica.. sorry), we bought a fresh baguette which we had with cheese and snacked on while Elsa cooked. That night we went and sat on this rock overlooking the sea and talked and looked up at the stars.

Elsa's masterpiece.

View from the rock we ended up sitting on that last night.

The next day was my last day. We did our usual beach thing. Wanted to paddle board but it was way too windy. Then, I got on a train, said bye to my friends, and headed out on my own! Went and had dinner in Calvi which is where the port is. I took an overnight ferry and decided to invest in a cabin which was the best decision. I basically got on the boat, slept in a bed, and woke up at 7 AM in Nice!

Me being exhausted after making it to
the ferry in my very denim-y outfit.

That morning was very stressful because I just spent the first like 4 hours doing nothing but lugging around my 4 months’ worth of luggage—a pretty heavy suitcase, my backpack, and a big purse. It’s not too horrible but it does suck on travel days to be carrying approximately 80 pounds of stuff. Anyways I found a bus to go to the Nice Airport where I used the wifi, paid for lockers for my stuff, and so on. It all just took forever. I went and got a Starbucks at Cap3000, a mall right by the airport, before taking a bus into Nice to spend my last day on the Côte d’Azur!

I treated myself to the best lunch: moules frites (muscles and fries) with bread and coffee. I had brought my swimsuit and despite the fact that I had a flight later I had to go for a last swim in the sea. The water was just too blue and beautiful and I’m going to miss it a lot so I put stuff in a locker, laid on the rocky beach of Nice sans towel (which I forgot of course), swam a bit, then dried off. I got sunburnt though which wasn’t too fun. Also got some gelato. Then headed back to the Nice Airport to repack my stuff for the flight.  I was only allowed 20 kg of stuff in my checked bag and I had 30… I also met some American girls on the bus who I became friends with and who were on my flight and staying in my hostel! Made it through without having to pay more for all my luggage thanks to their help, too. Then, it was au revoir to the south of France, my home <3 I cried a bit when the plane took off, not gonna lie.

Nice!

But then.. I was back to one of my favorite countries: Ireland! I spent that night in Dublin. Then woke up too early the next day for a Game of Thrones Tour which was … pretty awesome. We drove up north and got to see some of the filming locations for Winterfell and other scenes in the show.

The bus.

This guy... He's the keeper of the place.

Everyone walking in their costumes.

Winterfell archery!!! Season 1 episode 1!

Then last night I was expecting to just go get some food and have a night in to watch the most recent GoT episode, and blog, and post photos… which if you’re my friend on Facebook you can guess didn’t happen yesterday and is taking place now instead. I went to this restaurant and pub called Celt’s where I sat at the bar (being alone and all). I met this guy named Ahmad, however, who’s half American and half Saudi Arabian and who was also staying at Isaac’s Hostel! So I ate and we got into a really good conversation. Before I knew it, the was the most adorable little Irish man playing guitar and singing! So I ended up staying there pretty late meeting Irish people, dancing, singing along to the songs I (like No, Nay, Never—one of my favs—and Alive-oh!). It was a pretty perfect night and I had a blast.

Then today I had a train to Cork. I didn’t double check the time though and missed it. Then managed to lose my ticket on the way to the office to change it. So… that was just a comedy of errors and I was quite tired. But, managed to make it onto a train and now I’m in Cork! I got here and was starving. My hostel is really nice though. They get discounts at - pizza place that was right around the corner, so I put my stuff in my room, went and ate a whole pizza, and came back to shower and have my relaxing night in tonight. Then I’ll have lots of energy for a full day here tomorrow! I really like Cork so far though. I haven’t gone to the city center yet but it’s supposedly pretty small. It was only about a 10 minute walk from the train station to my hostel which was nice.

As far as the rest of my plans, I fly from Cork to Paris on Monday. Then I’m taking a train to Rouen to stay with my friend Léa which I’m actually SUPER excited about! I get to stay at her house and she said we can eat together and stuff at night, which seems like such a little thing but is going to be very fun for me to be in a really authentically French household. I’m expecting to speak a lot of French. I think it’s going to be the perfect way to round out the trip before leaving Europe! (Aw man typing that made me a bit sad.) I’ll probably take some trips during the day to explore Normandy, which I’ve just been really drawn to for a while. So, I definitely plan to go see Mont St. Michel and the beaches. Might go to Versailles just ‘cause I’ve never been. But might also just spend my days wandering and sitting in cafés and reading newspapers or journaling or whatever. We’ll see!

I do have to say, traveling alone so far is pretty great. I mean that’s the thing, I can have a plan or not have a plan and it doesn’t really matter. I can go get a pizza for myself at like 4:30 just because I’M hungry and it sounds good to me. Not that I don’t like traveling with others for that reason, but there’s just such a freedom in just getting to self-indulge a bit. To treat yourself. To decide how much you want to dish out for a nice meal or not. To rest when you want to rest. Do literally whatever you want without having to consult anyone else.

And I’ve managed to meet a lot of really awesome people! Which I considered would possibly happen, but I’ve been a little overwhelmed at just how easy it is to make friends. I think there’s also something to say for: 1. It being Ireland and everyone is so nice and I just love it here  for that reason. But 2. The people that are backpacking around Europe at my age tend to be pretty outgoing no matter what country they’re from. And there’s just an instant bond that’s created when you can talk about travel. When you meet someone else just as thirsty for the world as you. Someone who understands the huge life changing impact traveling can have, but also relates to the little struggles and the goofy things that happen when you’re doing so.

Other than that I’ve just had a lot of time to myself to listen to music or to think. I’m very thankful for that. And very thankful that I didn’t go straight home, because this travel has given me a good buffer between the culture shock of going home quite yet. I’ve gotten to drag out the goodbyes a bit and process things a bit more. I go back and forth between absolutely loving what I’m doing and then when things get difficult, starting to really want to be home. Maybe not even home home. But as incredible as this is, it’ll be nice to be in one place for a while I think. To not have to be living out of a suitcase. And dragging it around everywhere or worrying about where you’re leaving it.

Anyways. I’m very happy with how I’ve spent this time so far and looking forward to one more week, going back to France, and then meeting my mom and sister in Costa Rica on the 15^th! Crazy! And, yes, trust me, I’m aware of how crazy that sentence is to be able to say.